What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared
to what lies within Us

"Violence is for those who have lost their imagination" - Shane Claiborne

I look at my options for agency as the G20 invades Toronto and I feel paralized. I have spent a good portion of time weighing my possible actions and I have yet to come to a decision. I hope voicing some of my inner conflict here will help.

I am not confused about the impact of the G20 on Toronto, the threat to women's reproductive rights, a lack of honesty regarding the conditions of Indigenous populations, and the complete absence of courage when tackeling our relationship with the environment, or about the fact that the people makeing gobal decisions at the G20 are not "the people". However, when I am asked if i will be in Toronto this weekend I draw a blank that is filled with innumerable contradictions and connundrums.

I want to be in Toronto to be part of the presence that is saying "THIS IS NOT OK", but when I raise a clenched fist with my anarchist peers I always feel slightly queezy. The truth is the more anarchist literature I read, the more I begin to think "hm this sound like Jesus creating an alternate community as the Kingdom of God". But when my anarchist friends start talking about "raising arms against the state" I become paralized. I know that the probability of actual violent activity is not very great, but it is the attitute that stems from a disregard for the humanity of the oppressor that disquiets me. In the promotional material for G8/G20 Mobilization I read "Our hopes and our rage will shatter injustice wherever it arises," and I become increasingly frustrated! I remember that Jesus rages against injustice as he crashes the tables of money changers and sellers of official sarcifices to the temple floor. But it is not not an action of anger that changes the world, but his creation of life. Jesus dies at the hands of his enemies telling them he forgives them and then in an emence act of creativity Jesus overthrows all the barrieers of this world through resurection. He creates new life out of death and establishes a new Kingdom by demonsrating a new way of life on earth. So shouldn't we be raging in LIFE agaist the powers of death that ooz out of G20-like meetings? I am a very privaledge citizen of the world and those people I have encountered who have made the incredible choice to join a voilent revolution did so when they were much more oppressed than I. Those who I have heard speak of their involvement in the violent revolutions of El Salvador, Guatemala, or Nicaragua understand why they made their choice to fight, but would be the last to encourage violence until imagination has been exhaused.

So as we stand witness to the G20 this week are we ,"the church", raging with life? I read the demands of the Summit of World Religious Leaders: governments must close the gap between rich and poor, prioritize environmental sustainability, end militarism and cycles of violent conflict, and put the Millennium Development Goals back on track. Of course I want these things! It is a very important thing to bridge religous boundries and discover what we agree on. It is very important to speak out and demand just governance and policy. But why are we asking the governments and corporations of the world to do our work! Isn't bringing about the Kingdom of God on earth our job? Shouldn't we also be looking at the gap between the rich and poor that we foster, the way we fail to prioritize environmental sustainablility, the way we perpetuate conflict through consumerism, and our lack of respect for women's right, GLBTQ rights, and indegenous rights? Where is our imagination?

And still I remain conflicted. How do I rage with Life? Where do I do it appropriately? and how can I do it with the people of our church who are sitting in board rooms this weekend at Synod Assembly? Regardless of whether I make my way to Queens Park this weekend or not, the one answer that comes to me is that I must continue planning a summer of gardening, worship, star gazing, swimming, pond wading, singing, games, lots of laughter, community and faith exploration at Camp Edgewood this summer. As the rest of the program staff and I meet this week, I am going to think of our program planning as my rage for life. At Edgewood we will continue to form a new generation that may be able to live life differently with imagination and creativity. Take that Stephan Harper at Edgewood this summer are going to continually talk about Justice and practice being "Just For Life"!*

*this summer's theme at Camp Edgewood